Just some thoughts!

Ok, well I'm going to try not to complain I have a few resolutions and I'm going to try to stick to them. But it just upsets me when I try nice to people and offer to do things and not and they totally blow me off. I mean I'm trying right? Doesn't that mean anything? I mean if you don't want to talk to me or whatever then don't and let me know so I can stop wasting my energy on you and put it towards something worth my time! Grrr, that just really irritates me!

Anyhow, I know that most people who make resolutions only stick to them for a few weeks or for about a month or two. This year I made resolutions that I know I can complete and do without quiting. Some might take longer then others, but I'm willing to do what it takes. And some of them are things that deal with how I act about and/or towards things. I want to change for the better without changing my personality. Yea, I may be mean or come off not so nice, but that's just me. And if one really knows my past and how I grew up then they'd understand why I am the way I am. And I think that the only real person that knows that is my best friend in the whole Angel. She knows everything and anything about me. We had almost the say life growing up and we bonded the second we met. I just wish we were still together...or at least a reasonable driving distance. But one day we will soon be able to do the things that we did.

These last few days I have been thinking about what it was like when I was growing up (what I can remember of it) and I've made a promise to myself that I wouldn't do that to my girls. I want them to have an active life and do sports and letting the choose if they want. I wont force them to do something and I will show them love all the time and I wont use objects to get their love. There is just so much that I don't want them to go through that I did. And Perrin agrees with me on it. So, if we work together then they will have the life that I wanted. And I will live through my girls. I want to be the best mother to them then anything in the world. And I'm not saying my mom wasn't a good mother, things could have just been different then a lot of things would be different.

I just can't wait till Perrin comes home...since I start class on Monday, I really hope the next few months fly faster then anything in the world.