Here I go again...

Hello, once again. I think the last time I wrote was back in 2011 and it's now 2013 and we have moved to Fort Benning and have had another beautiful little girl in January of this year. I'm no longer attending school, which I know I should but with two young children at home and tight on money, we can't afford to put to kids in daycare. But I do try to save my husband and I money each month. I have became an avid DIY crafter since moving. I have sewn some blankets, bibs, and burp cloths for Lahnie (the baby). I have also made some of my older girls things like bow holders, hair clips, blankets, and other random crafts. I also make my own laundry detergent and fabric softner. I tried the dishwasher detergent but I didn't think that it was doing a good enough job for me. Haha. I also cloth diaper Lahnie and breast feed as well. This is kinda my first time cloth diapering. I briefly clothed Kaleigh (middle child) when she was a baby. And I have never breast feed any of my girls. I wanted to this time just to have the experience and I didn't want to be selfish. I know that I didn't do it with my two older girls but I have my reason and if no one wants to listen or believe them, then I don't care. I can say that I am now and that's all that matter. The past is the past.  That's basically about all that's happened since my last post in 2011. I mean more interesting things have occurred and I'm sure I'll go back to them, but just in a different post :)

The reason for me to start blogging again is to track myself and try to keep myself on track with trying to save us money. With only one income and bills (like everyone else) and three kids, things can get a bit pricey. But I do plan on doing all that I can do to save. I just read a very interesting and motivating blog about saving money. I mean if she can do it why can't I? It'll be hard and difficult, but I'm willing to give it a try and we may need to make some changes to fit our family, but something is better than nothing, right? And seeing that we paid the majority of our debt off with our taxes and spent quit a bit we didn't put any into savings. I'm sad that we didn't put any in savings, but everything is paid off that we wanted to and we got somethings that we needed/wanted while we had the money. But starting with March's paycheck we will be putting money into savings and trying to see how much we have at the end of the pay period to put more into savings. I hate living paycheck to paycheck, but we have to do what we have to do.

On top of putting money into savings, we went to the butchers or meat market (whatever you want to call it) and bought a large amount of meat to last us for about a month and half or so. And we will continue to do this so our grocery bill wont be so high. And I love this idea cause we did this back at Fort Hood and it lasted for some time and we also got a deep freezer so we have a place to store it besides using the fridge to store the meat. It'll also help better with meal planing with I have done and sorta stopped, but will be picking it back up to save money.

I have also made our own laundry detergent and fabric softener. I didn't think that it would work or be easy, but it was and is.This last batch of detergent and softener have lasted about 3 months or so. I don't remember when I made it but I know that I was still very prego when I did. :) I have added something to my detergent to give it an extra boost of smell. I was worried that they since they didn't smell good that they weren't clean. But I just added the purex crystals to the batch and all is good. I want to and will start to make my own fabric softeners that you can put in the dryer. I like to use the liquid and the sheets. But I found a DIY to replace the sheets (to save more money) on Pinterest. I've also made a few DIY cleaners.

Another thing that I did to help save money is that I'm cloth diapering Lahnie and breast feeding. I know that breast feed to save money is a horrible way to put instead of saying that I want to give my child the best (which I do), but with my two other girls I didn't and I regret it but it is what it is. And I decided to cloth cause it would save a ton of money in the long run and I kinda like the idea of doing it. And since Kaleigh didn't potty train the first time or two that it was going to be expensive to buy diapers for two. So, it saved in that way. But now my sweet Kaleigh is now potty trained and no more buying diapers. And a friend of mine even gave me a ton of pull-ups that both girls can use for nap (Kaleigh) and bed time (both girls).

At the end of the day, I'm doing my best to save as much as I can. I think that I'm going to start a vacation savings acct that no one will know about but me. It's easier for me to save money than my husband. But he is willing to jump on wagon with me. He just needs to be shown and needs to learn it. And that's what we will start doing. I'm also feel so accomplished by doing all this and at least trying.

At it again!

Ok, so I was going to the gym for like two months or so before December and I had seen no results. And I mean I burned a lot of calories and I changed my diet and all eating habits. And nothing and I mean not a change in my weight. So, I took the month of December off to regroup my thought and re-do my plan of action. I now know what my school schedule is going to look like so I am going to try to go 2x a day if possible. And I'm going to hit it hard, got some good news about Perrin's leave so I really need to. And I really want to. I'm going to to create a workout plan for myself and make sure I got and do what I need to do to make sure I can meet my weight loss goal. And if I don't by the time I would like, then I will get going until I get there. There is no reason why I can't do what I need to do. I know that if I put my mind to it that I can do it.

I think that I may plan to do some kind of update through my blog, but I'm not sure what I want to do. But I will document the road from start to end. And I can't wait to show Perrin that I can do it and that I did. My issue right now is second guessing myself. And I keep trying to tell myself that I can live with looking like I do even though I'm not happy. And I hate when I do that to myself. I mean if I'm not happy then I need to fix it right? And I just hope that I can! I want to make sure that I do and will do. I can I can I can!! That's all I can keep telling myself!!

Just some thoughts!

Ok, well I'm going to try not to complain I have a few resolutions and I'm going to try to stick to them. But it just upsets me when I try nice to people and offer to do things and not and they totally blow me off. I mean I'm trying right? Doesn't that mean anything? I mean if you don't want to talk to me or whatever then don't and let me know so I can stop wasting my energy on you and put it towards something worth my time! Grrr, that just really irritates me!

Anyhow, I know that most people who make resolutions only stick to them for a few weeks or for about a month or two. This year I made resolutions that I know I can complete and do without quiting. Some might take longer then others, but I'm willing to do what it takes. And some of them are things that deal with how I act about and/or towards things. I want to change for the better without changing my personality. Yea, I may be mean or come off not so nice, but that's just me. And if one really knows my past and how I grew up then they'd understand why I am the way I am. And I think that the only real person that knows that is my best friend in the whole Angel. She knows everything and anything about me. We had almost the say life growing up and we bonded the second we met. I just wish we were still together...or at least a reasonable driving distance. But one day we will soon be able to do the things that we did.

These last few days I have been thinking about what it was like when I was growing up (what I can remember of it) and I've made a promise to myself that I wouldn't do that to my girls. I want them to have an active life and do sports and letting the choose if they want. I wont force them to do something and I will show them love all the time and I wont use objects to get their love. There is just so much that I don't want them to go through that I did. And Perrin agrees with me on it. So, if we work together then they will have the life that I wanted. And I will live through my girls. I want to be the best mother to them then anything in the world. And I'm not saying my mom wasn't a good mother, things could have just been different then a lot of things would be different.

I just can't wait till Perrin comes home...since I start class on Monday, I really hope the next few months fly faster then anything in the world.

Here we go again, haha.

This was our latest family pic back in June 2010 before Perrin left for Iraq

Ok, I know I have said this the last few times in my posts, but instead of saying I'm going to start writing daily, I will atleast write once a week and then I'll go from there. But a lot has happened since July of 2010 (I believe was the last post). My husband is on another deployment, my oldest girls is getting big and smarter every day, and my youngest chunky butt is most deffinetly getting big. It's time for birthdays and growing and learning for me and my girls. I have my 25th birthday this month ( cannot believe it at all!!), my chunky butt (Kaleigh) turns one in March (holy moly, how the time has flown by), and my monkey butt (Mihkayla) turns 4 in May and will start Pre-k this year (it's been 4 years?? Where have I been?? Haha). The time has flown by super fast since we've been at Fort Hood. I've meet some really great people and I have met some not so great people. And it's ok everyone makes mistakes, and there are a few mistakes that I wont make again, that's for sure!! And the best news that I can post about is that we are moving back to Fort Campbell, and I personally can't wait!!! Even though I kinda love Fort Hood's weather, I would like to go back to 4 seasons...and the town is smaller and so is post and I know my way around there. I will miss a few here but I will keep in contact with them and still share stories with them since they wont be with me.

The latest news is that I start classes again on Monday, but this time I will be in-classroom instead of online classes. I'm just not the online class type of person! But I hope that these inclassroom classes bring my GPA up and I get back onto the path that I was at when I was going to Austin Peay Univ. Another recent issue going on it that I'm trying to figure out whats wrong with me. I have been to a few docs and I have a very low positive autoimmune issue but that's it. They said I might have fibramialga, but there isn't a test to know for sure if one has that or not. And now I will be going to see another doc on my back/hips. There is just too much pain in that area and I've done a lot of different things to try to take the pain away and I don't want to take any more pills unless I know for sure what is wrong with me. So, I hope after about 4 years I might find out what is wrong. I will keep my head up and just keep trying to find some kind of answer. That's about it on the most recent news that's been going on.
I believe that Kaleigh will start to walk here shortly and then her birthday and we hope that Perrin will be here in time for Mihkayla's 4th birthday. And then we hope that he will be home for good in time for her first day of school.

Waiting...

Ok, today has been just another day. I mean I was a little lazier then normal today. I hurt my back some how and I'm not to sure how I did it. It was hurting yesterday, but the pain went away and then today it came back and kick me in the butt. Hmmm...who knows.
Anywho...I'm going to go insane this deployment. Mihkayla is older and can cause more trouble and get on my last nerves a lot easier then normal as well. The dogs are driving me insane and Mihkayla doesn't help either. But oh well, I love my dogs. And Kaleigh as of right now is just fine. She is a little fussy and eats a lot, I know once she starts crawling that little chunky butt will be getting on my nerves, too. But in all reality I wouldn't have it any other way. And I honestly hate when people talk about their husbands being gone and they went home. You are home with family and the rest of us are sticking it out where we are. I mean I would love to run home every time Perrin deploys, but I'm an adult and that isn't needed. And moving the girls like that would hurt them and cause issues with them as well.

Ok, let me get off that before I get to in depth and cause more issues that aren't needed. I have decided to go back to CTC (Central Texas College) again. I have went back and forth a few time now. But seeing that I have a friend who is willing to watch the girls and I trust her, and she changed her schedule for me so she can watch the girls and I go and change my mind? I didn't think that was very nice of me so I am going to go back and do what I gotta do to get closer into my teaching degree and then go and get my Associates degree later or something. I mean I think that the classes I'm taking for teaching can be used for the rest of the elective class hours that I need but I'm going to see about just taking psychology classes to finish that. And I'm going to see if I can go to two different schools at once. Cause I really would like to finish my Associates with Austin Peay State Un. and then just go to CTC for my teaching, but I guess I could ask someone right? I mean at this point I either need to get a job or go back to school, since I get my G.I Bill we could use that and the extra deployment money to save up for things and use when Perrin gets back. Idk, but I gotta figure something out. And it needs to be quick. But Perrin is behind me either way, which is good cause he doesn't mind me going to school.

Oh and on another note. For this deployment I plan to stay very busy and just do things that I wouldn't have done before. I mean I will keep myself so busy that I wouldn't know if I'm coming or going. I will go back to making my do-lists and sticking to it. And I will make sure that the girls are on a some what flexible schedule and stick to that. I want them to get into a routine so that way when Perrin comes home they will know what's up and I know that it wont be another thing for me to worry about. Or stress about. Things are going to be a lot different. Things will get done and I won't get stuck on people anymore. They have hurt me too much that I could careless what they do anymore when I am replaced with someone who isn't nice and who treats your kids like crap hey that's fine. I don't care karma is a bitch. Let me stop cause I'm going back on that thing that I don't want to talk about cause I can talk about it forever!!! Ugh.

Vents and just to let it go...

Ok, so I just want to put out there yes I knew what was going to happen once I married a military man and all the other bull. And yes I also know that things could be a lot worse then what they are now for me and my family. But I just don't have the best friend for me to vent too. So, I'm going to do it here.

Ok, one I'm done and over trying to be there for people. I mean ya I'm your "friend" but how is it that you only talk to me when you don't have anyone else to talk to. Or when your board and have nothing else to do. I just think that is mean and selfish. I just don't want to do it anymore. I mean it's time for me to move on and just leave yall in the past where yall belong. And it just sucks that I feel like I don't have anyone I can confide in. I mean I have some friends I could but I don't want them to think that I have all these issues. And I'm sure they wont, but I just don't want to come off like that.

Two, I'm tired of hearing all these girlfriends and wife's of soldiers who have never been deployed complain about their husbands being gone and whatever else. I mean I know that I was once there, but I knew it was going to happened and I prepared myself and did things I had to, to keep busy and what not. I just don't see how they think that it'll never happen or whatever. Idk maybe I'm just being a bitch but really? I just want to tell them to get over it! Ugh. And another thing that gets me is when the wife decides to get pregnant right before he leaves then complains about how he's missing everything. Really? You knew he is or was going to deploy and you were trying to get pregnant, so I don't want to hear it. I mean ya it sucks and my husband was here for that and the birth of our children so I really don't know. But if I was in that situation I can't complain cause I knew what was going to happen. Idk but I just don't want to hear it. Sorry.

Well, those are the two main things that have been bothering me at the moment. Haha. I feel a little better now. I will try to write more tomorrow or something.

The day...

Well, I haven't been sleeping well the last few nights along with Kaleigh waking up almost every 3 hours to eat and fuss. So, all of that and doing a lot myself is really hard. I wish I could just have a place to run too. I'm not happy with how I look and feel. And I try to find the motivation deep down inside and workout or do something to where I can burn calories or fat. But for the first month or two I would just eat and eat cause I was down and alone. Perrin was in and out of the field and Kaleigh having colic, that is what I turned to. And I know I just had a baby (almost 4 months ago), but I don't want to feel like this anymore. I'm not happy and I want to be happy again. Then with hearing that Perrin would most likely do another 15 month deployment that just broke my heart. I mean ya he's in the Army and ya he has been home a little over a yr unlike some people, but it's still hard. Most definitely when Kaleigh wont even know who he is when he gets home anyways. Idk it's just so hard. And ya I knew what I was getting into when I married an Army guy and all that other crap, but no matter what it's still hard. It's still heat breaking when you have to say bye and not know if that'll be the last time I see him. And that has happened to many people and I feel so sorry for them and I pray that it doesn't happen, but I can't tell the future. Keeping my head up right now isn't easy! And when I ask for help it's like I'm talking to a wall some times. I think that if Perrin was in my shoes and had to go through what I am, have, and will be going through he'll have a different outlook. And ya I know that what he's doing is a lot harder then me, but I just want as much help and I can get before he leaves so I can get everything on a schedule. That's all I want. I'm not asking for a million bucks or anything. Just a little help.
I have joined a play group here and I like a lot of the ladies and their kiddos. It's something that keeps me busy and not think about what's left at home. I've made good friends with a few and glad that I did cause I don't know where I'd be with out them. They've helped me when I was prego with Kaleigh and offering to take Mihkayla for me. I hope that nothing else happens in the play group. I'm done and over with drama. I'm not in high school anymore and not a child or teenager anymore. It just never goes away where ever you are. And that's the bad thing some people just don't have anything else better to do, but cause drama for others.
Anywho...I guess I'll go since I have a lot of things to do. Gotta get me and the girls ready for a play date.

Still working on it...

Ok, it's been a few weeks since my last post. The main reason why I haven't blogged in some time was that I had internet thru Verizon and we could only use so much a month so I was on a limit and I switch to Timer Warner and have unlimited internet. I know this may sound gay but I'm super excited to have this internet. Like I'm super excited cause I can do what I want for how ever long I want to. Anywho...Perrin's home but will be leaving for another possible 15 months, which (sorry for the language) is bullshit. He had already done one 15 month tour and missed the firsts with his first daughter. And I understand that it's the military and what not. But how are they expected to have a family life if they are going to be gone more then they are home. And if he is gone for another 15 months then he's going to miss the firsts of everything for his second daughter, which is breaking my heart cause she wont even know who is before he leaves cause she'll be too young and I know how she's going to act when he comes homes and that's even more heartbreaking. But I know I'll have to and will get over it. But it's just hard knowing that their are people in the world who take this stuff for granted and don't care and what not. And then there are others who don't ever get to meet their child cause God needed them. Idk I'm trying not to let it get to me.

Anywho...Kaleigh is now a cloth diaper baby. I'm still getting use to it but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. And I don't mind it. And I can already see that we are saving money. Poor Mihkayla her eczema doesn't seem to be getting better. I feel bad. And you can see where she's used other medicines in the past on her legs...I just don't know what else to do...I feel like keeping her inside away from the heat, the cold, and water. Those seem to be the things that make it worse. Idk. Well, I need to hit the hay since Kaleigh didn't sleep well last night and I'm really tired! So, I'll write age and I don't have a limit on my internet, yay!! Haha

Trying to deal...

Ok, so I didn't keep up with blogging like I wanted. A lot has been going on. With Mihkayla being a handful and not listening most of the time that is a work out in it's self. And then with Kaleigh's issues (colic and now a horrible diaper rash) that's a different chapter in my book. Then finally with the horrible migraines that I have been getting, most of the time I don't want to do anything, but I have to cause I'm the only able to take of the girls at the moment. Well, Mihkayla is just like me with the attitude and the beautiful blond hair and blue eyes. I honestly don't see how my mother did it with me and my sisters, who have the same attitude, that is a little worse then mine. And her eczema is outa control, I just don't know what to do. And now that it is summer here and with her able to go play in the pool and what not, doesn't help either. In all reality she can't be in the water for more then about 10 min because the water is so harsh here, so if she's in the water any longer then it makes her eczema worse. Now, the sad thing is that Kaleigh has it too. I feel soo bad that the girls got it from me cause I'm pale. And the thing is that no one in my side of the family or Perrin's side of the family has it. I just don't know what to do. I think that when people see Mihkayla that I'm a bad parent because of how her skin looks and it bothers me when I see people just sitting there staring at me. But I try not to let it get to me cause I know what kinda parent I am and I think that I'm doing a good job. So, with Kaleigh's diaper rash issue. I have decided to change from disposables to cloth diapers. And yes a lot of people think it's nasty and what not. But I think that this would be best for her and maybe help her out with having these horrible diaper rashes. I'm not breast feeding so I know it's not what I'm eating and she's only eating/drinking formula. So, I don't know what else it could be and or do. And seeing that I have a few friends that are cloth diapering and I've talked them and weighed the pros and cons that it's just best for me to go cloth. And one thing that comes with this is trying to find someone to watch her. A lot of people just don't deal with it and don't understand what the purpose is and what not. So, that's another thing on my plate to worry about. I swear if it's not one things it's another. And I try to think positive and keep my head up but some times it's just hard to do when you are alone most of the time. I don't know. I guess I'm just going to go and think some things thru before I get back on here and start typing....

It's been way too long...

Ok, so ya it has been over a year since I last blogged. And I'm sorry and a lot has happened since then. My husband came home from a 15 month deployment, my sweet Mihkayla turned 2, my husband and I and Steph and Garrett went to Acapulco (Heather and Jason were suppose to come, but they couldn't and would have been great to have them), I found out I was pregnant with our second child, and we moved from Fort Campbell, Ky. to Fort Hood, Tx. That was just in the last few months of 2009. Since 2010 started we got settled in out house at Fort Hood, I had my 24th birthday, and we had are baby girl Kaleigh on March 2, 2010 and she was 8lb 13oz and 20 inches long.

And now that it's May Perrin is at NTC for a month to prepare for deployment and Mihkayla will be turning 3. WOW! Where has the time gone. I remember being in the Army and just had Mihkayla and buying a house.

And now I've had another child and we moved. It's still hard on me now even though we've been here for about 6 months. So much has happened that "only if" I could go back and change somethings, I wouldn't feel or be in the place in life that I'm at now. And I know you can't always count on the what if's and can't dwell on the past. But for some reason I feel like I have left somethings unfinished. I had so many great things at Campbell and I don't have all the great things that I had anymore and it gets to me. I find it a lot harder to go out and do things and meet people that I feel comfortable around. I feel like I have changed as a person since we've moved here. I also think that I ruined a lot of friendships and what not over things that weren't that important or over things that shouldn't have been a big deal to anyone, but some reason it was a big deal to me. I've tried to not be so to myself, but I feel like I'd be happier just sticking to myself and talking to those who I only know well. Honestly which is less then a handful of people now.

Since moving to Hood, I've wanted to try to be more involved with Perrin's unit and what. But the way things are looking it's not going to happen because his unit is crap, so I think. I mean he's been screwed a lot since we've moved here. I mean over things that aren't that big of a deal and for stuff he has nothing to do with or any control over. It's funny how, when we were at Campbell I said I can't wait to get outta here and now that I'm outta there I wish I was back. And I wish I was back for many reasons. One is that I was close to my mom, that was the only family that I was close to, both my sisters live up north and I haven't seen one them since 2005 when I left for basic training. I really don't talk to my famliy as much as I'd like to, we are all grown up and became different people. I really don't know many of my family members anymore. I don't talk to a lot of my cousins and aunts n uncles much. I can't even say that I really have any family. But that's a complete different blog, haha. Two is I had some good friends there, one of which happened to move to Hood too!!, and I didn't realize it till after I left how good of friends they were. But we all have to move on I guess? Three is that I had a great babysitter who Mihkayla loved and still loves so much. I didn't think that she'd remember much of them cause she was only 2 1/2, but she surprises me all the time when she comes outta no where with things that she's done with her friends. And four is that I had a house there, that we bought. I mean it wasn't a big lovely house, but it was our house and we couldn't sell it in time before we left and would have had to put money into selling it, which we didn't have. It sucks going from something that is yours to go to something that isn't yours. And I mean we didn't have the chance to come down here to look for a place to live or anything so we had to settle with living on post. It's really not that bad, but it's just a difference then having your own house to something not yours. Another issue that is getting me is my school. It's so much harder to find reasonable day care for two kids then it is for one. And I'm almost done with school, I mean I still have about a year left, but that's a lot closer to where I was this time last year. But with how the school does things a lot different here with paying for classes and what not. I just don't know. I don't if I should get a job or just keep going to school, but either way I'll need day care and i just can't afford to pay for day care over $400 every two weeks. I don't know.

Well, I need to go and get some things done. I'm going to either try and write once a day or at least once a week, depending on how busy I am.

55 Day left on the Count Down...

Today had been a day! Went to the gym like any other day and ended up staying like 45 min longer then what I normally stay! Thanks Heather!!! But it was a good work out except this one guy who was bother some...And I'm so freaking tired! I got all my errands don't but one. And that sucks cause it's for my unemployment! I just have been so busy and tired to want to do anything. And with the school schedule that I have now it's really just ugh..I mean if you knew that I was only taking 2 classes and what not, then you're going to like are you serious? Well, I come home and have a house to keep up and a child to take care of and one of my classes is an all day class. It's not that the class is hard and that's why I'm tired, it's that the class is so so so freaking boring! It's horrible!! I just hope that this semester flys cause then Perrin and the rest of the guys will be home. And I can't freaking wait! Man the year that he has been gone, now that I look back has flown by and now that he's only like a month and a half away from being home it's going to take forever now!! I'm just trying not to think bout how many days are left because then they defiantly would go by super slow. I'm working on that! I just wanted to write something...I'm going to bed got an semi early morning!

56 Days and counting down!!

OMG! Is all I have to say. Man today has been a really bad day! And I so wish Perrin was here for me to lean on. I hate having these days because it's like I'm really all alone and no one to talk to. And I know I have friends that I can talk to, but some times I just want him, you know? And the sad thing is we kinda got into it when we talked today. I was so hurt...And that conversation just made me bad day even worse. But for more then half the day I was in my Biology class and oh lord what a day! I mean I know everyone has stories to tell about whatever experience they had and with what. But this guy has like 50+ years worth...I would say with my class the time is 11:15 am to 4:30 pm for more then half that time we heard nothing, but stories!! He's a sweet guy, I'm just saying I don't know how I'm going to do in this class. Well one Biology isn't one of my stongerst subjects and two I can't really understand what he's saying.

Well, we have 56 days till the guys are projected to come home. And I'm so excited! I really can't wait! Life will one be complete and then two will be a little weird because we will have to get use to them being around all the time and what not. I mean I can't wait for that, but it has been over a year since we've lived with them. But I want to do so much to the house. Like I wanted to start painting around inside the house, but I can't find any colors that I like or which room I want to paint. I'm most likely going to wait till Perrin comes home and we can do it together! But I want to make the outside look great! I want to put some little flowers around outside and take the wood out from around the bush areas and put some kinda plastic so ants and other bugs can't eat it. I just hope I don't over whelm myself with a lot of activites, but yet again I think it will make the time fly by. And that's always good!! I'm just so super excited!!!!! Now I just want to know if we are going to stay at Campbell or not. Sorry that way I know what we could do to the house and what not to do. I mean I know that the more you add or the more you do the higher the price of the house will be, but if we are going to move, we will need that money to move. I don't know I really don't want to move!!!! But you can't tell the Army no, technically.
Well, I'm going to bed...Tomorrow will be along day because I have a lot of cleaning to do since I don't have class and Mihkayla will be at the sitters.

What should it be called?

Well, I know that the time is getting shorter, but with that it's also getting harder! There are so many things that I want to do and so many things that need to be done. And I just want to have a lot of things done before he comes home...because there are going to a lot of things that I'm going to want to do so I rather get what I want done before... Well, this semester isn't going to be as easy as I think it's going to be! Both my classes are going to be different and might have some difficulty with them. I just hope that I pass these classes with a good grade. I want try to keep a good GPA. I want to do really good so that one I don't have to repeat any of my classes and pay of pocket for them and two so that I can prove to people that I can do good in school. And I hope that if we did move to another post that whatever college I go to when I get there that most of my classes transfer! I would hate to take some of these classes again. Well, it isn't much but, I'm tired and I'm going to the gym in the am. So, tomorrow is a short day for me so I'll write more then.

Goodness....

Well, the last few days have been so out of it for me. One of my good friends came back to Ft. Campbell. So, me and Heather have been helping her move and get things in some kind of order. And I really need to clean my house I have let it go the last few days. There has been so many people in my house you'd think that it was a hotel or something. And my drive way...wow I had like 6 cars in it. It's just been a busy weekend. It's been so crazy!! So, my and my girls (Steph and Heather) and Steph's cousin and room mate went out last night! WOW! It was good night!! And I honestly can't believe that I drank as much as I did. And I think that I am better and darts when I'm drunk then I am when I am sober!!

So, I start school tomorrow! I just wish I has longer then a week break! But I can't complain because I did get a break! And I keep thinking that as soon as I finish this semester Perrin will be coming home! It has been over a year since he's been gone! It is also getting harder and more stressful as the time goes by. I just wish it was happening in like a week or something. It's just so sad some times to see happy couples in public because I'm alone and I get so jealous because he's gone. Man, I'm so tired. Well, I'm going to go since I'm going to the gym before class! Gotta have all the energy in the world to do that!!

The new dew...

A pic from the side so the color can be seen.....

I think that this is a better pic but still very cute!

The new color....pink!! Love it!

So, I did something no one thought I would....

Ok, I put pink in my hair! Yes, I am a very blond and basically pale person now with pink in my hair! And I'm super excited that I did it. But my day has been good for the most part. I went and got fitted for contacts as they call it. And I'm not too sure that I want to use them. My eyes were hurting and I had a bad migrane!! And I know that I still need to get use to them. But I'm just not looking forward to putting something in my eye and then taking it out every day. I mean yes they are better then glasses in a way, but I'm just thinking that glasses are better for me, personaly! But I have a week to try them out as they call it. And I'm not trying to brag, but I have very cute blue eyes and they asked me if i wanted color contacts. Yea, I know that some people do use colored contacts but I love the color of my eyes why would i want to change them?? I duno, I know it's just apart of the job.

Well, they day could have been a lot better if I would have gotten to talk to Perrin, but no I didn't cause of his stupid internet was down. But I guess I can't complain cause he did send me a comment on my facebook...But I just could have atleast talked to him for a min or two. It just sucks that I can't always talk to him when I want. And I know that we aren't always going to be able to talk but it's just nice to hear from him atleast once a day or so. I duno, to me that just lets me know that he's safe and ok. It just puts my worries at ease. And yes I am happy that we do get to talk cause I know that some military wifes don't get to talk to their husbands, but maybe once a week or month. But for me, this is how I feel. And if you don't have a spouse that is working for the military or in the military, then I really don't want to hear it when you husband is gone for a week. You don't know how I feel. I mean to a very, very, very small point you might, but try a year or 15 months! Then come to me complaining how hard it is or what kinda day you had and all you want is to be able to touch him or just hear his voice. Till then, please save us both the trouble! Yes, that might sound mean, but thats me and if you don't know me then please don't take offense to that just get to know me and you will realize that this is common thing for me. Well, it's late and I really need to get to bed cause getting up and going to the gym in the morning on a few hours of sleep is just killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll write more another day!

It's wonderful....

So, today was a great day! The weather was really nice out and I went to the gym. I'm hoping that I can keep this routin so I will be looking great when Perrin comes home. I just hope that I am some what tan before he comes home too! Lol! Yes, it's funny! Well, the gym would have been great, but I totaly forgot my ipod. And I was so pissed! Heather even offered to go back to the house to get it, but we were already on post and I just delt with it. it sucked really bad. But I am thankful that Heather tried to entertain me by singing. It was quit funny! So, since Perrin is gone, I have to use a POA for things that only have Perrin's name on it and not mine. So, I'm trying to find out some of his truck information and these people thought that I had the time and the minutes to play phone tag. I think that it's just retarded in some situations that I can't find some info out for him. Like now if I was trying to open a credit card or get a loan in his name, then I can understand. But I'm just trying to figure out how much is left on his loan and these people just want to give me hell! Ugh!

I got my computer back after like a week and a half. It was infected with a 167 viruses! From my understanding that is a lot and not good. And the virus that got it was a bad one too! Man, it would have been great if I knew what to do...cause it would have been a lot cheaper! Very much so! And I feel like I have to get use to it all over again! I have been so use to using the laptop. But I am very greatful that I have it back. This week is my off week. I am out of class for the week and then I start back up again next week. This whole time change thing had thrown me out of wack! Like I woke up and it seems like the day just flew by me. And I really didn't do anything today, but go to the gym, go to kinkos, pick up the girls, go the park, and then picked up the comp. I mean that looks like a lot but it really wasn't.

So, we went to the park again today and the girls had soo much fun. I just think that it's funny that Mihkayla does not like to leave. Yesterday and today when we left the park, you would have thought that I was beating her or something. Like she just really didn't want to leave. She needed a diaper change and needed to eat dinner and didn't want to do anything. And all I could do is laugh because it was soo cute that she didn't want to leave. But, she was so tired and when I put her to bed she was out like a light within 5 minutes or so. I'm happy that she is now old enough to play with the other girls now and she's getting so freaking big! Like I remembe when she just started to crawl and then she started walking...it's so sad because Perrin missed it and it hurts a lot. But I know that there's nothing that we could have done about it and it's just apart of being an Army wife. And worst of all it broke my heart into pieces when he came home on R/R and she wouldn't go to him. I know that Perrin and I talked bout how she might act when he came home and that was what most likely going to happen. I guess I just wasn't prepared for it. I mean I was already crying because it was so surreal to be touching him. But I only have like 67 days or so left and I'm so freaking excited!! And another thing that I'm happy about it that the semester of college will be ending right before he comes home. And it was just like this when he came home for R/R. So, I have been so lucky with this. And I am so thankful for it to.

Well, this week I'm going to try to do some outside work because our front yard has this rediculous bushes that I am so going to get rid of when Perrin comes home because I don't feel like triming them every month or so. And I just want to put some pretty flowers in there to make the house more welcoming. And I just want to do something different. I want our house to stick out (in a good way!!) So, that when it comes time to sell it that people would be like ooo lets look at this house! I duno, I just think that it would be great to just do something different. It is our house and our property so why not? Right? There are just so many things that I want to do, but I don't want to do anything till I find out if we are moving or not. I mean yes if we did do things to better the house it would probably sell for more (But I doubt it with the way the economy is!), but I don't want to put money into it if we are going to need that money to move to anther state. There are so many things that come with moving and getting things started or switched over! So, I guess we will see!!

Ok, Zoey, our cute little mut (Jack Russal Terrier, Pug, and American Bulldog Mix) is about 5 months old. And I know that dogs loose their teeth just like we do, but Heather googled about puppies losing their teeth. And it said that it is true that dogs loose their teeth like we do, but it is rare that you find them. So, tell me why I have been so lucky to find the 2 that she's lost so far. Like I happen to see something on the floor and it was a tooth and I happened to step on the other and it didn't feel to good. I am so glad that I did find them because I'm sure that Mihkayla would have tried to put them in her mouth or something like that. It's weird but I love her with all my heart!! And who can't love this sweet little pup of mine!!This is the very first picture of Zoey! Isn't she so freaking cute!!

Look how pretty she is even when she is sleeping!!

This is such a cute picture of her, she wanted to play when we were going to bed. It was very cute!

Some old and some new mobile pictures...

O.M.G!! Look at Mihkayla when she was like 5-8 months old!! She looks soooo chunky and cute!!

Me and Zoey laying on the couch...being lazy like always....

Mihkayla and I again...I was bored and trying to keep her entertained!!

Mihkayla and I...You can see her eczema really bad...poor thing...

Mihkayla and Zoey...Aren't they so cute!

This is what happens when we are together!!

Daddy and Mihkayla...They look so much alike...She's just got my eye color and hair!! Yay!

Mihkayla wearing daddy's hat and glasses...We miss you and love you!!!

Tiger and Shadow...All grown up! They are trying to chase a moth......How cute....

Here are the "boys" Tiger and Shadow! Look how small and cute they are!!

Spring forward...

Ok, so Spring forward has soo many meanings at this moment! Like one would be my husband coming home from his 15 month deployment. Another would be that my little girl will be turning 2 and she's getting so big. Well, today started off kinda uhhh....Perrin texted me at like 630 but it was really 730 because I forgot to change my alarm clock ahead. But it was not big deal Mihkayla slept till 9 so I can't complain. And we talked for awhile but it really wasn't a great conversation for the fact that we were texting and once I got on the computer he was getting off to go do things. That made me soo upset and mad because it's like he didn't care that I got on the computer to talk. I mean it's kinda hard to text and change a diaper and just to do a lot of things. And as the spring comes...there are a lot of things that I want to do to the house. Now that I'm out of the Army, there are so many things I can do now. Like when Steph gets here and if all of want to go do something during the day...I can cause I'm not at work!! This summer has so many things...and I'm going to make sure that we are booked for the summer!

So, I have been thinking about a lot of things that are and will be going on. As some of my friends will be moving on to add another chapter in their lives, I think that we will be doing the same. I know that things happen for a reason and people come in your life for a reason too. It's just that it's going to be sad to see some people leave and it's going to be really sad for us to leave here. Like we've only been in our house for a year and my husband has only lived in it for like a total of 2 months. So, that kinda sucks. And we have all these ideas for our house...and now we have to put them on hold just till we find out if we are going to be moving or not. And then leaving my friends will be soo sad. I know that being an Army wife you might move a million times or you might move once. And some people are going to come and go and I don't want these friends to just come and go. The sad thing is that we all might be on each corner of the U.S. And that's a hell of a road trip!!! It would consit of leaving the east coast (if we move to Ft. Bragg, NC) to Texas (where Steph and Garrett might go to school at) and then to Alaska (where Heather and Jason are going back to). That's like days in between each destination. Then if we all move we wont have each other to lean on when our guys leave again. Which sucks because we know each other really well. We know when to be there and when to just give them their space. That's one of sad things of being an Army wife. Being an Army wife is such a big deal. Like all these "other" women complain bout their husbands being on a business trip for a few days...and how things just aren't going right for them and how the kids are such a handful...Are you Freaking Serious!! Try having your husband being gone for a year or 15 months! And try having them miss the firsts of everything and try going to school, work, and then come home and be a mom and a wife. This is a tough job and it takes special person to be an Army wife! If you are a civilian and don't think it's hard come step in my shoes for about a month!! Then let me know what you think!!

School, gosh there is no ending story about this! Like Perrin and I talked bout when I first got out of the Army that I would just go to school and try to get as much as I can do. Then I would find a job if I need to. But now it's like we can't afford for me to not get a job. And I know that some people can do it but I don't want to work during the day and then go to school at night. And after Perrin gets back from this deployment he'll be home for a few months then go to school for like 3 months and will come home for another few months and then will probably deploy again. So, I don't want to go to school at night and miss spending time with my family. And he wants to have another baby too. So, all this in the mixing pot is not the best mix. I mean I'll put things on hold, but you have to give a little to get a little.

Well, I've wrote a lot just now...So, I'm going to upload some more pics and then will write again later...

Here is Mihkayla again now that she's almost 2 yrs old!! Man the time flys by!!!!

This is Mihkayla, aka Chunky Monk, Blu, and Monkey. She is our beautiful little girl!!

My very good friend Blue and I...We were absolutly wasted in this pic....

Perrin and I in Korea, where we met and now happily married!!